Having To Let Go

Earlier this week I’m sad to say that I had to give up being friends with two girls that I know very well and that I’ve become great friends with over the last three years.

I guess I should give you some back story first.

When Kurt and I started dating he introduced me to his friends Leah And Kenzie. Over second semester of my first year of college I became great friends with them.

At the same time their friend began talking to me, and began putting me down.

Without another name for it I called it bullying and for the next year attempted to spend the least amount of time with this girl as possible, while continuing to become closer to Leah and Kenzie.

Towards the end of last year it came out that Leah and Kenzie were thinking about rooming with this girl and asked me to be the fourth.

For a while they really didn’t want to, and when we finally did sit down to talk about not rooming with this girl it turned on me and turned into a plea from this girl to give her another chance.

After a few minutes in the conversation I realized that this girl was only talking to the other two. I was like the third wheel on the date.

I waited it out a little and my anxiety kicked in so hard that I had to excuse myself from the conversation and throw up behind a tree a while away.

Needless to say I didn’t end up rooming with them, even after being pressured to do so by the other two.

It wasn’t until the end of the summer I attempted to restore the relationship with my two friends, but as I choose not to go into their apartment it is very hard. They are also choosing not to come to my apartment unless provoked by Kurt.

The other day I ended up thinking about the situation I decided that I can no longer be friends with these two, because I can’t keep taking the rejection that I continue to receive from them.

To me it’s reinforcing what I had been told by this other girl, which was about how I couldn’t ever go anywhere in life and how I’m going to be alone.

Because of all this I’ve chosen not to be around these other two girls.

It hurts. I hate that I have to give up two of my good friends because of this, but I feel like I don’t have either of them anymore.

Actually, I haven’t had either of them for a long time now.

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Sorry for the depressing stuff.

See ya later,

Amanda

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2 thoughts on “Having To Let Go

  1. NoDecaf_09 says:

    That’s really immature of your two friends. I don’t understand why they can’t be friends with you without you rooming with them and it seems they don’t understand that this third girl is super toxic to you. You do what you need to do for your own mental health. Sometimes that means letting go of the closest of friends. In the end, you’re doing what is right for you and that’s what is important. You should be proud of yourself for making this decision, because I know a few people (including myself) who would stay friends with toxic people (or people who put me in toxic situations) just so I am not alone.

    Like

    • happysmiles159 says:

      To me it’s better to be alone. I have three amazing friends back home that I know I can rely on for everything and anything. To me wasting a ton of my time trying to be someone else’s friend instead of making an effort for those friends is just stupid.

      It isn’t easy but don’t stay in that toxic situation, you deserve more than that.

      Liked by 1 person

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